Friday, September 20, 2013
my first few weeks of motherhood scared the pants off me. i was nervous to hold my own child, worried i'd drop her or trip while walking down the stairs with her. jeff changed her diapers and rocked her to sleep more often than i did. i was nearly paralyzed the day he went back to work and left me alone with her. my baby blues were in full swing. i cried throughout the day for no reason—but also because my nipples hurt and i still couldn't fit into my regular clothes and there was never time to take a shower. a messy house stressed me out, so while evie slept i cleaned instead of napped. i felt like i'd started a new full-time job—the hardest job i'd ever had—one without weekends or breaks and no way out. no previous experience required.
and for some reason, i've agreed to do it all over again.
i'm promising myself it'll be easier this time. i'm vowing not to stress over a messy house. i'm swearing not to beat myself up when i let evie watch tv while i nurse the baby; i'll try not to recall the articles i've read about tv being detrimental to her learning and development, and i won't wonder if i'm doing the wrong thing. i'll go with the flow.
i won't get as frustrated when it's 3am and my baby won't sleep, because i'll know those sleepless nights won't last long—they won't even last a second. i won't let a fear of breastfeeding in public stop me from taking my toddler to the park, the library or out for ice cream, newborn in tow. if there's ever a time when evie is napping while the baby is asleep, i'll take a nap, too. and when the baby is six weeks old and has been pleasant all day but starts screaming his head off right as jeff walks through the door, around 5:30pm, and jeff says, "this sucks," i'll bring up the times when evie did the same thing, and we'll try to laugh it off, go with the flow.
despite my goals, i know some things will be the same as last time. i'll love this kid as much as i love evie. i'll buy too many new toys and books for him. i'll cry when i drop him off at daycare for the first time. when i take him and Evie out to lunch with my girlfriends, i'll mechanically give my friends only 50-percent of my attention, the other 50-percent focused on my kids—what evie's drawing on her paper menu, how my baby's lips turn up into a quick smile as he sleeps.
this time around, i'll be better prepared for the good times as well as the trying ones. and i'll already know that a big chocolaty drink from the drive-through starbucks will make the trying ones a little bit better.
Monday, September 16, 2013
i had this gender reveal planned since our last gender reveal in 2011. the plan: jeff, evie and i go to our favorite too-expensive baby store (janie and jack) and choose a girls' outfit and a boys' outfit. we take the outfits to the register and hand the woman behind the counter an envelope with the baby's gender inside. we walk away, and the woman behind the counter gets to work wrapping up one outfit—the one that matches the gender written on the ultrasound photo in the envelope—in a perfect box, bow and all.
that night, we go to a nice dinner, order drinks (beer for jeff, faux-jito for me), toast to the baby-to-be, and unwrap our "gift" to reveal the gender.
the plan worked great! evie and i picked the girls' outfit, and jeff chose the boys'. he took his time selecting a collared shirt and puffy vest, size six months (a thanksgiving outfit, he decided). the woman behind the counter had done this quite a few times before, so she knew the drill. (i thought we were so original!)
boy, oh boy, were we excited (and a bit shocked) to see that little blue outfit! anyone have tips on raising a boy?!?
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
apologies in advance if this post makes you barf. it's a list of my favorite words and phrases that evie so sweetly mispronounces, which i hope to read again in five years to help me remember my daughter at 20 months old. just last week, evie started speaking more clearly and pronouncing more words correctly—something a mom should be proud of—and i about cried. (have you thrown up in your mouth a little bit yet?) i thought, i'd better get these written down before it's too late and my daughter is speaking in full, sharp sentences. (time, stop moving so fast!)
anyway, here are my favorite evie-isms from the last few months:
eee-ba-ba! (peanut butter!)
haay-bup (sit up)
help-ooo (help me)
hold-ooo (hold me)
other things i'm loving right now:
♥ when evie gives me a kiss, she sticks her tongue out and sort of licks my face. (not sure where she learned that!)
♥ she says "please" and "thank you" to strangers (the cashier at the grocery store, the girl at the park).
♥ she sleeps with two lovies. we found her a second, backup "lovie" (a little blanket with an elephant head) that looks just like the original because, with a backup, i thought i'd actually get to wash the original more than once every couple weeks. but now evie knows there are two lovies and demands to sleep with both of them every night. she walks around with one in each hand, exclaiming, "two lovies! two lovies!" just as happy as ever.
♥ when she sees a kid, she points and yells, "kid! kid!" and then i ask, "is evie a kid, or a baby?" and she says, "kid. widdle kid."
♥ last night, evie said i was her friend ("mama evie's fwiend"), and i melted into a little puddle on the floor.