Monday, July 18, 2011
our big surprise!
guess what? we’re having a baby!
we got the news many weeks ago as a big—no, monstrous—surprise. it was the biggest surprise of my life, actually. jeff and i weren’t ready to be parents. we didn’t know a thing about babies. we couldn’t imagine ourselves as a threesome, a family, with baby toys and clothes and blankets and bottles sprinkled about the apartment. not just yet, anyway.
but those were just the first couple days. after a friend dragged me to powell’s for books on pregnancy, babies and parenting, my mind changed completely. as i flipped through photos of unborn children developing inside their mothers, a wave of amazement, astonishment, came over me. was it possible this was happening in my belly, too? it couldn’t be! i felt so normal. i wasn’t sick and didn’t have any of the symptoms outlined in these books. but what struck me the most is we didn’t even try to make a baby. instantly i became aware of the fact that so many couples struggle to get pregnant because they want children more than anything in the world, undergoing years of ivf and other invasive treatments, and then ultimately fail, their bodies incompatible. their only options left are to adopt or be childless. and we didn’t even try. i felt a bit guilty, but lucky at the same time.
a few days later, the doctor confirmed the life growing inside me. jeff and i looked longingly at the screen while she performed the ultrasound. we heard the swift heartbeat, gazed at the tiny head. at eight weeks old, our little guy or girl was just a centimeter long and already the most incredible thing we’d ever seen. i cried.
since that day we’ve been consumed with all things baby: books, clothes, names, nursery paint colors. we even put an offer on a house in the suburbs, in a good neighborhood, away from our trendy apartment on mississippi avenue, where the three of us can spend our first few years as a family together. we’ll have to make an enormous effort to continue dining at our favorite downtown restaurants, but part of me knows that once the baby comes, we’ll rather be in our new home with baby toys and blankets and bottles sprinkled about.
the due date? december 20, 2011. ♥