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Thursday, February 18, 2010

A Valuable Lesson About Sunshine and Oregonians

Call me a hypocrite, a phony, a liar, whatever you want. Because it’s true.

(You don’t think so?)

(Ha!)

Let me explain.

Today, sixty-degree weather and cloudless skies decorate Portland and its surrounding metro areas. Almost as if the man upstairs is giving us a break from winter or something, just for the day, because we’ve been such good kids all week. (This isn’t the reason I’m a straight-up sham, though. That part comes next.)

First of all, in my defense, I didn’t realize these picturesque atmospheric conditions would grace Portland today. Because while I’m unemployed? I’m not watching the news, and I’m sure as hell not mindful of the forecast (although I do still refer to Matt Lauer and Meredith Vieira as “Matt and Mer” – and still expect my friends to know who I’m talking about when I say things like “Mer was so great today” – and of course I still call the anchors my "best pals"). These days, I’m sacrificing mornings with my channel-eight buddies to sleep until 10 a.m., chat online for a good portion of the afternoon, spend my savings at Nordy’s, and show up at Portland’s best happy hours. A wise trade? I think so. (Or at least I thought so.)

I didn’t figure we’d catch a glimpse of spring today. But if I'd hung out with Matt and Mer and Al this week? I would've known the weather forecast and wouldn’t have made such a fool of myself this afternoon. (Damn you, Unemployment!) You see, yesterday I haphazardly chose to ridicule the types of girls that dress in sundresses, sandals and shades on the first day the sun peeps through Oregon’s thick clouds. Out of nowhere, I completely went off on these people. And, no, I don’t remember what brought it on. All I know is there wasn't a girl in sight who wore any sort of clothing that evoked summertime. I simply felt the need to express a random irritation. And it's a free country.

“Portlanders are so eager for sunshine that it doesn’t matter if it’s 50 degrees or 70 degrees – they’re in cargo shorts and skirts and sandals and sunglasses! Haha!” I went on like this for a while, with sinister cackles escaping my word hole. As if I don’t place myself right in the dead-center of this category of sad Oregonians.

The part about hypocrisy?

Today, Mr. Sunshine pokes his head through the clouds. The wide blue yonder turns a dazzling sapphire color. A new kind of energy flows through me. I change from jeans and an Arizona State tee-shirt to a purple, cotton sundress. And flip flips. And then I put on my sunglasses and get in my Jeep to take a drive, just for fun, through the gorgeous summer daylight while singing along to 1990s hits by Amy Grant and Ace of Base.

The temperature in the car? Reads fifty-four degrees.


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  1. Nice Pic! :) Ahh Sunny days in portland are amazing...Best fresh air around! The sun wakes all the gloomy zombies up and the city comes alive...not to mention the overload of facebook statuses alerting everyone else how amazing the Portland weather is.

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