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Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Debbie Does Dinner, But Not Like Mom

Last year at this time, I sat on the floor in my “two bedroom” apartment stuffing a bright red suitcase with wintry sweaters and mittens while whining in misery and anger.

Get me the hell outta here. Get me the hell outta here. Get me the hell outta heeerree. I repeated the concentrated sentence over and over in my head, and I think it escaped my word hole a few times, which frightened Alexa. Thanksgiving marked my being in San Francisco for two whole months – and I’d hit a brick wall. I wanted to go home.

GET ME THE HELL OUTTA HEEERREE.

I lugged my suitcase onto the bus and (despite the comments I knew my coworkers would fire at me) took it to the office. I would journey on BART to SFO straight from work at 5:30 p.m. I had no other option. As I flashed my bus pass to the driver, he raised an eyebrow in pity, and then I dragged the travel case up the steps and down the aisle. He waited for me to situate myself before taking off, which bus drivers NEVER do. Which means he felt sorry for me and thought his bus-driver life was better than my attempted city-girl life. Which made me feel worse. And cry.

Get me the hell outta here. RIGHT NOW. OR ELSE.

I was ecstatic to see my family on Turkey Day, and even happier to see a turkey. A home-cooked meal! I hadn’t eaten a home-cooked meal for months, unless you count a can of warmed black beans slapped inside a tortilla. My mom’s juicy mashed potatoes, flavorsome gravy, cranberries, soft homemade bread, straight-from-the-turkey stuffing, array of salads, and pies spread across the festive dining room table. I couldn’t imagine anything better on Thanksgiving.

But then I found Debbie. Apparently she “does dinners.”

A couple of days ago, a resident at Luxury Condo asked me how he could get a home-cooked dinner on Thanksgiving without having to cook it himself. I lazily typed his question into Google and found Debbie Does Dinner. I learned that if you’d rather watch football and kick your feet up on Thanksgiving – or if Mom’s not around to prepare a feast – Debbie will make you an all natural free-range Diestel turkey for just fifteen dollars per portion, plus buttermilk chive mashed potatoes, luscious gravy, cornbread stuffing with chicken sausage, dried cranberries and apples al dente, and green beans with crispy bacon (among plenty of other items).

The next question I asked Google? Was how to pass it off as my own. Because I’m staying in San Francisco this year and don’t know the first thing about pulling off a Thanksgiving feast. (Sorry, Nancy and Richard.)


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